>> Well hi, I'm Becky. This is the college counseling center and your name is?
>> I'm Brittany.
>> Brittany, okay. It's nice to meet you. I'm glad that you came in today. Why is it that you came in today?
>> You know, I don't really know. I walked by the hallway and I saw the sign that you do counseling for battered women and. . .
>> Um hum.
>> I don't I don't really think I've been battered. I mean it's not bad. I just been with this guy for a while and, my boyfriend, and he's fabulous. He's wonderful and we're gonna get married and. . .
>> Um hum.
>> we've already picked out a ring, we're just waiting to get more money and I mean he's the, the man of my dreams and I just love him and and, I just the other night we were arguing and I'm just a little concerned 'cause we had an argument, we always have arguments and and they're they're never anything really important, we get over it. You know. . .
>> Um hum.
>> I usually apologize or he apologizes and it's fine but, the other night he just acted really different. He just kinda flipped a switch. He, he got really angry, got really red in the face and he got up really close to me and put his hands on my shoulders and just kinda shoved me. And, as he was talking at the end he just after he was done talking he just kinda thrusted at me afterwards. And he's never laid a hand on me. He's always said, you know, if ever anything ever happened he'd beat up anybody and he's always been this wonderful, wonderful guy and I've never just saw him act that way and it just kinda scared me.
>> Um hum.
>> And I mean afterwards he, a- as soon as he like did it he it's like he realized that he had even touched me and I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I will never lay a hand on you again. I'm so sorry and totally apologetic and and went back to normal and I kinda forgot all about it and let it go. But, you know after I saw that sign I started thinking you know maybe, maybe that was something that shouldn't have happen. But I don't know, I probably sh- I'm probably blowing it out of proportion 'cause I'm sure he was just stressed and, I don't know I probably shouldn't even come 'cause I mean I'm sure it's nothing. I just, I'm a little confused and I'm, I mean it's fine.
>> Well Brittany I'd like to say first of all, I'm glad that you came in. I know it can be kinda scary and awkward and unfamiliar and I see that you say I read the sign and I don't know if this is what's going on in my life but if it were to happen or if if it were to progress into this. . .
>> Um hum.
>> I'd like some counseling on it and so I'm glad you came in to talk about this.
>> Okay.
>> I know at the end you kinda started backin' off sayin'. . .
>> Yeah.
>> It's probably nothin', I probably didn't need to come in but, the feelings that you had you know being scared and catching you off guard. . .
>> Um hum.
>> kinda like he flipped a switch you said. . .
>> Yeah.
>> those are very normal feelings and so. . .
>> Okay.
>> I'm very glad that you came in today to talk about this and your experience and your feelings about the experience are very normal to have. It's normal to be scared in this kind of incident. You mentioned your family.
>> Um hum.
>> Are you really close to them?
>> Very.
>> Okay.
>> Very.
>> Are they are they close to your boyfriend?
>> Yeah they really like him.
>> Okay. So, so you have a a close connection with your family. . .
>> Um hum.
>> and like, I heard you say that if they had heard about this that they would be very upset.
>> Oh yeah.
>> And so it's a close enough connection where they would care more about your safety than. . .
>> Yeah.
>> than him.
>> But I would never want them to know because then forever their idea of him would be, you know. . .
>> Um hum.
>> skewed and they would think that every time we got in a fight that he would do something and it would just drive me crazy so I'm not, I can't tell 'em.
>> You don't want them to have a bad image in their mind?
>> No, no no.
>> Well, so but they are a support system?
>> Yeah.
>> So i- it's good to know that if this were to happen again. . .
>> It it won't.
>> Right, okay. This won't, okay.
>> Yeah it'll be, It'll I'm sure it will never happen again.
>> Well Brittany since you came in here today, I'd, I would like if you would allow us to talk about maybe just some steps that we can take in case this does happen again.
>> Okay.
>> That would make me feel more safe for you, make me feel better that I know that we at least have a plan of some alternatives or some, you know something to do if this were to happen again or you know if it were to escalate.
>> Okay. Yeah.
>> What are s-. . .
>> I mean if not I can at least you know give it to a friend or something.
>> Um hum.
>> You know 'cause I don't [inaudible].
>> Okay. Well what are some alternatives that you could do in the situation?
>> If something were to happen again?
>> Um hum.
>> You know, I I do- we don't live together, we have our own apartments but we usually stay at each other's apartments. So I could stay at my place or I could go home, but again I don't want to tell my parents 'cause you know even if it something little, a little rock or in the road, you know. . .
>> Um hum.
>> a little obstacle I don't, I don't want us to get through it and them not be able to get over it so. . .
>> Um hum.
>> I probably wouldn't go home. I do have, you know, some girlfriends that I could go stay with but then again I don't really want them to hate him every time he comes over or hangs out with us so, I mean I could just go back to my place.
>> Okay. So I hear that you would have another, you'd have a safe place to go.
>> Yeah, I could go to my place or. . .
>> Okay.
>> you know if he's at my place I could kick him out, or go to a friends.
>> Um hum. Okay. Well, if if the situation were to escalate, kicking him out could, you know, make him more angry but I do I do hear that if you all are at one place you do have somewhere else to go.
>> Right, right.
>> So right now the plan would be if if this situation were to happen again, you would find, you would either go to your place. . .
>> Um hum.
>> your parents place if it was really bad.
>> Right.
>> or a friend's house?
>> Yeah.
>> Okay. How do you feel about coming back into counseling and, and. . .
>> If you want me to I can but I really don't think it's gonna happen. I really just kinda wanted to talk about it because I really, I really don't see it happening again. I know I keep saying that but it just seemed like such a one-time thing and we hadn't talked about it. I just thought that, you know, like you said it was normal feelings to have so I just wanted to come in. But I mean if you want me to I can check back in with you.
>> Well I really want this to be your decision. I I don't want you to feel uncomfortable.
>> Okay.
>> But I think maybe part of the plan is you know also going someplace safe, and like I said I am very glad that you came in and talked to me, that you were, it shows a lot that you had you know enough courage to even discuss this with someone, and so maybe a part of the plan if this seems to be happening more often, or if it escalates to maybe come back in and. . .
>> Yeah.
>> let us kind of discuss this and see what some other options may be.
>> Will it be you?
>> Yes come back in to see me.
>> 'Cause I don't wanna go through everything with somebody else.
>> I understand that.
>> Okay.
>> That can be, ner- you know you could be nervous.
>> Yeah.
>> So maybe the plan right now is that if something else were to happen, if this is gonna continue or if this gets worse, you're gonna go to a safe place correct?
>> Right.
>> And then you're saying that you would come. . .
>> Yeah.
>> back and we we would discuss this some more?
>> Yeah.
>> Okay.
>> I would feel comfortable doing that.
>> Okay well thanks for comin' in today Brittany.
[ Silence ]
>> Well hi Brittany.
>> Hi.
>> Tell me why you came back in today.
>> Well you told me that I could come back if if. . .
>> Um hum.
>> anything happened and I really didn't think it was gonna happen and it really wasn't that bad but, my boyfriend and I had another fight and this time it was about, it was about something really silly, it wasn't about our, it wasn't our usual fight and now now it's like we're fighting about everything. And this time it was about he wants me to go to this fraternity thing and I really don't want to go to his fraternity thing. It's just not my style and I don't like his fraternity brothers that much; I mean I'll tolerate them but not really. And he wants me to go but I have this huge test on Tuesday and I just really was planning on spending my time at home studying, you know kind of relaxing. I just really wanted to take this weekend for myself and. . .
>> Um hum.
>> or this past weekend for myself and, he didn't like that. He told me that this was really important and I said so is my test. And it's like, again, that switch; he just flipped. And he grabbed my shoulders like he did last time and this time when he shoved me he shoved me hard enough that I kinda fell which really was just me losing balance but it was mostly, you know, he kinda it was worse this time. You know he really got up in my face and I don't even remember what he was yelling at me about but he just, after he was done shaking me, he shook me so hard that I pushed, you know I fell back. And [inaudible] kinda little bit bruised, but I'm I'm fine. I just, I kinda got nervous again.
>> Okay, you got nervous because he shoved you and you fell over. . .
>> Um hum.
>> it sounds like? And you're saying that it's not really that big of a deal but I just want to recap that you know last time you came in and we talked about how he had shook you all a little bit before when you all were fighting about your family. . .
>> Um hum.
>> and that this hadn't really happened before.
>> Right.
>> and that you didn't think it was that big of a deal and then this time it's gotten a little worse you're saying?
>> Yeah [inaudible].
>> that he shook you and he shook you so hard this time to where you might, you kinda tripped, fell over?
>> Yeah.
>> Okay. How did you feel about, how do you feel about that?
>> I'm kinda scared that it happened again and. . .
>> Um hum.
>> I don't know, maybe it was my fault. Maybe I should've just gone to his fraternity thing. Maybe I am being selfish and, and you know I mean I really, I really love him and I really still think that we're gonna get married. I I still, I don't want this little thing to be in our way so I almost wonder if I should just maybe just right now kinda like do whatever he wants right now just to kinda keep the peace and see if this'll just kinda like fade away.
>> Well Brittany, what I want to do right now is talk about what what are your options, and some of your alternatives. I heard you kind of already thinking about that, already thinking about maybe I should just do what he says, but it's im- it's really important for you to stay safe and for you to be safe, I I can hear you rationalizing why this happened but I want to recap about you came in last week. . .
>> Um hum.
>> and you all got in a fight about your families.
>> Right.
>> and he shook you up a little bit and you said you didn't think it would ever happen again.
>> Yeah.
>> and that you're, you came in this week and so you said, y'all got in a fight about a different issue, about fraternity stuff or about you not wanting to go and he wanted you to go. And he did it again and this time it was a little worse.
>> Yeah I guess so.
>> And last week you said this was not gonna happen again and I I still hear you saying I don't think this'll happen again right now. So, we want to keep you safe. Would you agree?
>> Yeah, but I don't wanna break up with him. . .
>> Okay.
>> if that's what you're saying. I mean, I guess I love him. I mean he's everything to me and, I I'm not gonna break up with him.
>> Um hum.
>> I mean I'm I'm sure this is just like a road bump, speed bump kinda thing 'cause that's not an option for me. I mean I don't, I don't know what I want to do but I don't wanna do that.
>> What's some other ways that we can make sure that you're safe?
>> I don't, I don't know. I mean I I guess what I had said before is that I could you know just kinda keep the peace and do whatever he asks for right now and just try and do the right thing in his eyes I guess.
>> And y'all are not living together correct?
>> Yeah [inaudible].
>> Okay, so you still have your own place.
>> Um hum.
>> Did this fight happen at your, where did this fight happen?
>> This was at my place.
>> Okay this was at your place.
>> Um hum.
>> If if this fight happens again, if something like this were to happen again, where can you go to be safe? How can you get out of this situation?
>> Well like I said, you know I've got some friends that I can go stay with and of course my parents but I don't really want to go that route yet.
>> I remember last week you were scared about tellin' your parents 'cause you didn't want them to think, to not like them an- not like him anymore.
>> Right.
>> Okay. I just wanna make sure that you understand the severity of the situation if it were to get worse. . .>> Yeah.
>> that there is a ri- a good place for you to go to be safe.
>> Right. Yeah I do. I do. I I feel like I have a backup plan.
>> So what is that backup plan?
>> That if, if it happens at my place again, which it probably won't, but if it does that I can go to my friend's house or to my parents.
>> So you're gonna go to your friend's house or your parents if this were to happen again?
>> Yeah.
>> Okay. Let's also talk about, once again, you came in last week, he shook you, he said it wasn't gonna happen again. He apologized.
>> Um hum.
>> You came in this week and he shook you and so hard to where you fell, you said it wasn't gonna happen again. Can we agree that if this does happen again that we'll take more immediate action 'cause it's happened three times now?
>> What do you mean by immediate action? I mean I still don't want to break up with him.
>> Um hum.
>> But, I mean I I would come back in to see you.
>> You would come back, you feel comfortable coming back in to see me?
>> Yeah I could do that.
>> Okay, so we can talk through maybe a better solution.
>> Yeah, I could do that.
[ Silence ]
>> Hi Brittany.
>> Hey.
>> I noticed that, your face.
>> Yeah.
>> You wanna explain what happened?
>> I mean obviously he hit me, and I'm stupid 'cause I thought he wouldn't and it would never come to this but he hit me, last night. And I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm so mad at him and myself that I, I don't know what I'm gonna do.
>> Well, I can tell that you're upset.
>> Yeah.
>> I see you movin' a lot, you're movin' a lot more than you did in the last couple sessions.
>> Yeah.
>> Why don't we, okay so let's start off what, what happened last night at the beginning?
>> Well, I went to a guy's house to study which I've done before.
>> Um hum.
>> And he's a good guy friend that I've known since high school and he's actually went to the same college as me and and my boyfriend's met him many times. He knows our relationship. He knows how we're just best friends. I mean, he even has a girlfriend. Like, it's nothing like that. He's just someone in my classes, we have finals comin' up so I went over to study and I told my boyfriend that I was going to a friend's house to study, I didn't tell him who. And so when I got home he asked who was the friend and I told him and he lost it. He just started screaming and he he did the thing like I said, he started to stand up so I tried to leave and that's when he grabbed me and he swung and said you're not leaving, I'm not done talking. And then other than that, I don't even remember what he said. I was so mad and it hurt so bad and all I could think was to get out of there and I couldn't and eventually he just left.
>> So are you tellin' me that after last night happened, you locked the door and you went to bed and this is, you haven't been out of the house?
>> No, I haven't really slept either.
>> You didn't sleep last night?
>> Huh uh.
>> What was goin' on to your, what were you feelin' last night as this all was goin' on?
>> Mad and scared. I mean I don't know what's worse. I don't know if it's because I'm scared that he's gonna come back and and do worse, or if it's because I'm so mad at him I don't know what I'm gonna do if I see him.
>> Okay.
>> I don't, I don't know.
>> Okay. So you just got real confused and scared. . .
>> Yeah.
>> which is, those are very normal feelings to have in that situation.
>> I mean like right now I'm so mad. I just, I wanna find him and I wanna hit him and I know I can't hit him as hard as he hit me but I just, just, I just want to do something to get back at him.
>> Okay. Brittany when you say that it, it makes me think a little bit that you're not, that you're thinking of hurting him as well.
>> Well yeah because what if he comes back tonight and hurts me worse? I mean I can't prot-, I'm a lot smaller than him, what am I gonna do?
>> Um hum. Once again those are those are very normal feelings to have but I think right now what we need to do is talk about how we will put you in a safe place, get you to a safe place so that this doesn't happen again, so that. . .
>> Like move out of my apartment? I mean he knows where I live. I don't know what to do. Maybe if I just did something to him then I'd feel better and wouldn't have to tell anybody.
>> Okay, so Brittany when you say that, that once again now you kinda have me thinking that you are thinking about doing something hurtful towards him.
>> Yeah I just don't know what to do.
>> Now, when you say that are you ever thinking, have you ever thought about hurting him? Have you ever thought about, hitting him or killing him?
>> Well not killing him, no. Hitting him yeah, but I don't know how I would do it. I mean, he's like a foot and a half taller than I am and he's stronger than me. I mean I haven't really thought that far into it. I'm just thinking out loud I guess.
>> Um hum.
>> Just 'cause I'm so mad. I'm just so mad and I'm so upset right now. I'm embarrassed 'cause I don't want anybody to see me, and I don't want to tell anybody because then I'm gonna be the tattletale and what if they don't believe me? I don't know what to do.
>> Well right now I don't think, I I understand you have all this stuff going on, but once again, we we need to get you someplace safe. We need to know that you're gonna be okay. I need to know that you're not going to do anything hurtful to him, not only for his sake but for your sake. It sounds like retaliating against him has not been working out. Not that you've retaliated in the past but, you know these events have been occurring 'cause y'all got in a fight, you got in a fight about your parents. You did somethin', you know you got in a fight about not doin' somethin' at his fraternity. Things got worse. Now you went somewhere that he didn't like that you were just studying at a friend's house, he got really upset and something bad happened to you. So I want to know that you're not gonna do anything to him not only because I need to know that he is safe, but I also need to know that that's not going to be a good thing for you to do, that you would be putting yourself in danger.
>> Yeah you're right, I won't do anything.
>> What?
>> I won't do anything. You're right.
>> So what is it that you want to do right now?
>> I don't know. I guess go home, talk to my parents. I've turned off my phone so I don't even know if he's tried to call me.
>> Okay. That's good so you don't have any contact with him right now?
>> No.
>> Okay. Do you feel like you need to be escorted home, like it was, it won't be safe for you to go to your car, get in your car. . .>> Yeah I probably . . .
>> drive all the way there alone?
>> maybe if I could just call a friend.
>> Call a friend to make sure that you get there safely?
>> Yeah 'cause I don't know if he's, if I've turned off my phone I don't know if he's gonna be like waiting for me at my house.
>> Okay. You mean your apartment, your your place?
>> Yes my apartment. Not my parent's house, my apartment.
>> Okay. Well right now it sounds like the best idea is to go straight to your parent's place.
>> Well I've got to go get clothes and stuff.
>> Is this, is that somethin' you could do after you got there, that your parents could go get some of the stuff for you?
>> Yeah I guess so.
>> You could tell them what you need?
>> Yeah, I could do that.
>> Okay. What about also, since this has progressed and gotten worse and he did actually hit you this time, have you thought about taking any legal action?
>> No, not yet. I mean, again that goes back to like friends as, I haven't even thought that far. I don't know. I haven't even thought that far. I don't really want to. I don't know.
>> I know that can be sometimes a really scary and. . . .>> Yeah.
>> intimidating thing to do, but sometimes it can be best to get a restraining order.
>> Can I wait?
>> Yes and, we're not gonna do anything without you wanting to do it.
>> Okay.
>> 'Cause I don't know what I want to do yet.
>> Um hum. Okay. Well that's that's still just something to think about. I want to let you know that's your, an option for you. But once again, you know it's, you have the control over that. You have the power on what's going to happen with that.
>> Okay.
>> So what is it that you're gonna do right now after our session is over?
>> I'm gonna go home to my parent's house.
>> And before, would you like to call your friends while you're here so that your f- your friends show up here at my place before you get in the car?
>> Well not if, not if I'm going straight home. I mean if they were gonna take me to my place first to get my stuff, but if I'm just gonna go straight to my parent's then no.
>> Okay.
>> I think I could just go straight to my parents.
>> Okay and once you get there what is the, what do you need once you get there?
>> I'm gonna let my parents know what clothes I need, and books and stuff and have them go get it for me.
>> Okay. Do you want to call here so that I know that you have arrived at your parent's house?
>> Yeah I could do that.
>> Okay. Okay Brittany I know we, things have been crazy for you right now. The emotions that you're going through are very normal to have, but I would say the best thing for you to do is to go to your parent's house. Are you safe to drive right now on your own?
>> Yeah.
>> You think? You don't think it would be better if someone drove you?
>> No, I think I'll be okay if I drive.
>> Okay. So we've decided you're gonna go to your parent's house and you're gonna call the agency once you get there.
>> Yeah and I'll let you know that I got there.
>> Let, let us know that you're there safe. You, you're not going to your apartment. One of, eventually one of your parents will go get you the stuff that you need.
>> Okay.
>> Okay? I also just want to remind you if you come to the conclusion that you want to take legal action or get a restraining order or want to press charges on him, that you can call us and we can help you do that. You don't have to go through that alone.
>> [Inaudible] talk to you or just anybody in the o- I don't wanna just talk to anybody.
>> I understand that. No you can talk to me and I will help you get through that.
>> Okay.
>> So I don't want you to, I know that you said you you're not sure what you want to do but if things are this bad and he physically hit you that's, I think that's something that you need to consider.
>> Okay.
>> So, but like I said it is up to you.
>> Okay.
>> Okay?
>> Well Brittany, I'll I'll assist you to your car, I'll make sure you get there okay and then the next step I'll I'll be hearing from you when you get to your parent's house.
>> Okay, yeah.
>> Okay?
>> Okay.