Problem
A research essay on Jennifer Egan's novel A Visit from the Goon Squad using a secondary scholarly source.
You can use any topic you wish.
My comment:
I chose the "Time Pass" topic, and here is my intro part:
About the theme of A visit from the Goon squad: Time Pass
Jennifer Egan's novel A Visit from the Goon Squad is a captivating and thought-provoking exploration of the effects of time passing on individuals and the world around them. This novel uses multiple characters and changing perspectives. Egan vividly portrays how time affects us all. By looking at the effects of time on the novel's characters and themes, this essay will research and explore how Egan conveys the passage of time in A Visit from the Working Class.
Task
What can be optimized in this intro? And I need more ideas or points for the body paragraph.