Your office is moving to a new location. Your colleague, David Burke, is not a strong writer, and he knows that you have recently taken a professional writing seminar. He approached you this morning and asked, "Can you read this draft? I know it's a mess, but I'm swamped with the upcoming move. I want to e-mail it to everyone tomorrow. Can you let me know exactly what's wrong with it and maybe rewrite it for me? Thanks - I owe you one!" Here David's Draft:
Subject: Get Ready!
We are hoping to be back at work soon, with everything running smoothly, same production schedule and no late projects or missed deadlines. So you need to clean out your desk, put your stuff in boxes, and clean off the walls. You can put the items you had up on your walls in boxes, also.
We have provided boxes. The move will happen this weekend. We'll be in our new offices when you arrive on Monday.
We will not be responsible for personal belongings during the move.
David Burke
* Assess the strengths and weaknesses of David's draft.
* Rewrite the e-mail message using the strategies outlined in this week's readings.