The Roommates
Apply what you've learned in this chapter by analyzing the following case study, using the accompanying questions as a guide. These questions and a video of the case study are also available online at your CourseMate for Communication Mosaics. Bernadette and Celia were assigned to be roommates a month ago when the school year began. Both were initially pleased with the match because they discovered commonalities in their interests and backgrounds. They are both sophomores from small towns, they have similar tastes in music and television programs, and they both like to stay up late and sleep in. Lately, however, Bernadette has been irritated by Celia's housekeeping-or lack of it! Celia leaves her clothes lying all over the room. When they cook, Celia often leaves the pans and dishes for hours, and then it's usually Bernadette who cleans them. Bernadette feels she has to talk to Celia about this problem, but she hasn't fi gured out how or when to talk. When Celia gets in from classes, Bernadette is sitting on her bed, reading a textbook.
Celia: Hey, Bernie, how's it going?
[Celia drops her book bag in the middle of the fl oor, fl ops on the bed, and kicks her shoes off onto the floor. As Bernadette watches, she feels her frustration peaking and decides now is the time to talk to Celia about the problem.]
Bernadette: You shouldn't do that. You make me nuts the way you just throw your stuff all over the room.
Celia: I don't "throw my stuff all over the room." I just took off my shoes and put my books down, like I do every day.
Bernadette: No, you didn't. You dropped your bag right in the middle of the room, and you kicked your shoes where they happen to fall without ever noticing how messy they look. And you're right-that is what you do every day.
Celia: There's nothing wrong with wanting to be comfortable in my own room. Are we suddenly going for the Good Housekeeping Seal of approval?
Bernadette: Comfortable is one thing. But you're so messy. Your mess makes me really miserable.
Celia: Since when? This is the first I've heard about it.
Bernadette: Since we started rooming together, but I didn't want to say anything about how angry you make me. I just can't stand it anymore. You shouldn't be so messy.
Celia: Sounds to me like you've got a problem-you, not me.
Bernadette: Well it's you and your mess that are my problem. Do you have to be such a slob?
Question
1. Identify examples of you-language in this conversation. How would you change it to I-language?
2. Identify examples of loaded language and ambiguous language.
3. Do you agree with Celia that the problem is Bernadette's, not hers? Explain your answer.
4. To what extent do Celia and Bernadette engage in dual perspective to understand each other?