Assignment Task:
Original
The relationship between language and power is detrimental for someone's character. The ability to portray yourself in a manner of only using your words gives you power, but does that mean someone is less if they are not able to? Everyone has a different experience when it comes to language and how it may affect them. Some may have negative experiences like people who may have a speech impediment or even English not being their first language. For me, I've had a positive experience due to the level of education I have acquired. In this essay, I will give my reasons why language is power, but how should that affect others' character?
Every person will have a different experience when it comes to the language they use or were taught and the education that they have received. People who come from poorer backgrounds tend to have less of an education and will usually have a harder time getting a job because of their usage of language and potential employers will see this. This is seen even in the school systems, "In schools in the U.K., I imagine, such judgmentalism would not be tolerated. I recently heard an alarmist report that the British education authorities are proposing to introduce an oral version of the standard school exams (at age 16), because the traditional written method unfairly favors candidates who can read and write." (Truss, 2012, para. 2). I selected this quote because it shows that schools are starting to recognize the shortcomings for education or the lack of students' ability to read or write effectively. This should help students who cannot grasp these topics easier with this oral method. With the shortcomings of reading and writing, maybe a student is an oral learner and this is their means of learning. This gives language power and students power who have trouble portraying themselves. With lower amounts of education, people are receiving; school systems are recognizing that and that translates to the workforce.
Revision:
The relationship between language and power is detrimental for someone's character. The ability to portray yourself in a manner of only using your words gives you power; but does that mean someone is less if they are not able to? Everyone has a different experience when it comes to language and how it may affect them. Some may have negative experiences like people who may have a speech impediment or even English not being their first language. For me, I've had a positive experience due to the level of education I have acquired. In this essay, I will give my reasons why language is power; but how should that affect others' character?
Every person will have a different experience when it comes to the language they use or were taught and the education that they have received. People who come from poorer backgrounds tend to have less of an education. Will usually have a harder time getting a job because of their usage of language and potential employers will see this. This is seen even in the most school systems, "In schools in the U.K., I imagine, such judgmentalism would not be tolerated. I recently heard an alarmist report that the British education authorities are proposing to introduce an oral version of the standard school exams (at age 16), because the traditional written method unfairly favors candidates who can read and write." (Truss, 2012, para. 2). I selected this quote because it shows that schools are starting to recognize the shortcomings for education or the lack of students' ability to read or write effectively. With this new oral method, it should help students who cannot grasp these topics easier with this oral method. With the shortcomings of reading and writing, maybe a student is an oral learner and this is their means of learning. This gives language power and students power who have trouble portraying themselves. With lower amounts of education, people are receiving; school systems are recognizing that and that translates to the workforce
- Do the revisions improve the clarity of the ideas? If so, how? If not, why not?
- Is the use of semicolons and colons correct? Are they used effectively?
- Are the transition words used in the revised paragraphs appropriate? If so, why? If not, suggest alternative transition words.
- What insights about paragraphing and transitions in writing have you gained by reviewing your classmate's post?
- What insights might you offer your classmate regarding paragraphing and transitions in writing?