Marriage Contract
Write a DETAILED marriage contract (about 2500 words; 8 pages, double spaced) based on your own philosophy of marriage - your expectations. Be sure to state it in terms of what YOU want. If you are married, write a contract of your expectations now, which may include a wish for change in some areas. Use all of the following headings in bold in the sequence listed in writing your contract.
I. PHILOSOPHY: Begin with an explanation of your philosophy of marriage, your values and concepts regarding marriage.
II. PURPOSE AND LIMITATIONS: Include your purpose for the contract and when you plan to re-evaluate. The purpose for an individual marriage contract is to specify clearly and explicitly what partners expect from the marriage and if his or her assumption about a major facet of their life together is not shared by the other. As each individual will continue to grow and change continuously, a marriage contract will need to be renegotiated periodically.
The practice of writing individual marriage contracts has become more popular in recent years. Couples often find this an excellent exercise for clarifying each partner(s) expectations as they enter into marriage. Designing a marriage contract tailored to the interests and needs of two individuals, however, can be a more difficult task than it initially appears.
III. DEFINING A MARRIAGE STYLE: Individual marriage contracts also provide a couple with an opportunity to spell out the values upon which their union is based. For example, a couple may wish to indicate whether their marriage is to be egalitarian or traditional in style. This would have several ramifications that they might well spell out in terms of childcare, career opportunities, the sharing of household tasks, and so forth.
A couple could decide to indicate in their individual contract that the personal growth and fulfillment of each partner is the basic goal of their life together. When a mutually agreed upon value commitment is considered important enough to be written into an individualized contract, it is often incorporated into the marriage ceremony as part of the couple's vows and promise to one another. Your responses to the following issues should reflect your style. (Include these title in your paper in bold):
IV. ISSUES TO BE INCLUDED (ADD OTHERS OF IMPORTANCE TO YOU!):
Discuss each of these in a paragraph form to indicate your point of view.
A. PAID EMPLOYMENT -- Choices, options, and location? Do both want to and/or have to work? Expectations and beliefs about night meetings and overnight travel. Would you follow your spouse's promotion/job change to another geographic location?
B. IN-LAWS, FAMILY AND FRIENDS -- Attitudes toward friends and family, how to handle vacations, holidays, opposite sex friends. Are social gatherings with friends welcome often or prefer only one or two friends at a time? Nights out with the boys/girls?
C. RELIGION -- Church. Go together to same church? Go separate ways? Not important? How will you adjust to a partner with a very different philosophy?
D. RECREATION AND LEISURE TIME -- Where, what leisure activities, separate or together? Separate vacations? What do you like (need) to do?
E. FINANCIAL --Who assumes major responsibility? "His" or "Her" money, or common pot? Who carries checkbook? Who pays bills? Credit cards or cash? Savings?
F. HOUSEHOLD CHORES -- Responsibility? Who does what? How much? How will you decide?
G. PARENTING -- Yes or No? Maybe? When? How many? What if you want to parent and your spouse doesn't?
H. CHILDREN (CHILD REARING METHOD) -- What is your style? Can your spouse have a different method? Do you have objections to some methods of discipline?
I. WHERE WILL YOU LIVE -- Apartment or house? Country or city? Do you like or object to frequent moves? Would you live with other family members under some circumstances?
J. SEXUAL RIGHTS AND FREEDOMS -- Although any arrangement other than monogamy would clearly be against public policy and society, in practice, some people make arrangements to the contrary. What do you expect?
K. ABORTION -- The husband might give his consent to abortion (a) in advance, (b) depending on the situation, (c) her decision, or (d) under no circumstances. Consider rape, wife's life at stake, malformed or handicapped child. Wife's attitude toward abortion.
L. PETS-- Inside or Outside
M. EXTENDED FAMILY - Will you live with them? Could they live with you?
N. LIFE SUPPORT - What would you do?